How
young is “old enough”? And exactly how old is not so young anymore?
Take it even further: how old can true old school rock get? Can it ever
get old?
The
answer to these questions may be hard to find, perhaps a true quest on
its own right. But we can try and sum it all up in five simple points.
That’s just what the teachers ordered.
One thing’s for sure: a Scorpions’ gig is much, much more than just a gig.
So, without further ado, let’s see why:
#1
- First of all, there’s the swearing. There’s no two ways about it: you
just can’t say what you feel and mean without some serious rock and
roll swearing… ‘Cause let’s face it: these guys f***ing rock. We’re
talking about senior citizens, people, not younglings with illusions of
grandeur, dreaming of groupies’ wet panties and coke lines the length of
an airfield. We’re talking about the first iconic western rock band to
play behind the iron curtain. We’re talking about the second major rock band in music history to think recording with a full
orchestra was the way to go.
(A moment to pause on this one: what the
f**k were they thinking? “Hey, Metallica did it, it must be good!” –
“What shall we call it, then?” – “F**k do I know!... Hey, they called it
‘S&M’, let’s go beyond that, let’s be bolder!…” – “How ‘bout
‘Moment of Glory’?” – “Yeah, we could write a new song ‘bout the
children’s plight and all that scheiße…” – “Hey, you know what we could
call the song? I can see the outdoors already… ‘Moment… of… Glory’…!” –
“Wow!… Wunderbar!...” I mean, come on… I still absolutely love these
guys and the admiration goes unblemished, but not all shit is made of
gold. Sure, Tim Burton did ‘Planet of the Apes’, the aforementioned
Metallica did ‘St. Anger’ and Woody Allen did his stepdaughter, but
that’s not really any good of an excuse, is it? It only goes to show how
“genius” can coexist with “f**k things up”.)
So, when you’re seeing a
band like this, live; when they’re really there, in front of you, flesh
and blood, you’re not just at a gig: you’re seeing History in front of
you. And what a sweet f***ing History it is…
#2
– The people. Scorpions have had many people in its different line-ups.
Usually, there are two types of bands. Sometimes, the members stick
together, line-ups hardly ever change (if at all), and they either go
the distance until everyone starts kicking the bucket left and right, or
they just disband even before the bucket has any chanced to be kicked.
These tend to produce the best music, because the chemistry remains
throughout, sometimes even fuelled by the stress and strain of
coexistence.
Other
times, it’s a f***ing circus, with people coming in, people going away,
sometimes people coming out, perhaps even some people going in, I mean…
It’s a mess. These usually provide more gimmicks than music, with
drummer and lead guitar sharing the same woman, lead singer’s brother
going on a Viagra binge (“know what I mean, nudge nudge…”) or simply bad
release after bad release.
Scorpions are neither. In over forty years
of music, these guys have had their fair share of line-up changes, but
their music remained somehow the same. If not, at least very cohesive
and coherent. Every different line-up took part in, at least, one iconic
album and a handful of memorable songs. Of course, of these, some
people stand out.
To begin with, co-founder Rudolph Schenker still
remains the backbone of the band. He’s always there, in your face, to
rock the shit out of you. He will not let go, make no mistake: not only
is he one the liveliest 63 year-old guys you’ll ever see, his presence
onstage is ubiquitous, sometimes feeling like he’s in more than one
place at the same time.
Klaus
Meine, the man behind the slightly metallic, slightly sinus-fuelled
voice that delivered all those classics, remains top notch. Now, we have
to realize that singers suffer added strain in comparison to the rest of their
fellow band members: their instrument is part of the very aging body
they inhabit. If a singer starts losing their voice, new pickups won’t
do the trick. Which is why I was struck with how good his voice still
sounds after all these years.
Matthias Jabs, the cap-wearing lead guitar
player, remains as flashy as in the early days. Sure, sometimes he’ll
go a bit over the top with his guitar-playing trickster moves, but we
still love to see him wank to his whammy stick (go check Steve Vai’s
very own experience with the whammy stick on Youtube, if you know what’s
good for you…).
Finally, a word for drummer James Kottak, one of
the junior band members. He was still 3 when the band was founded, which
makes him a little kid playing with third-graders, but he brings an
intensity and sheer madness to the gig that cannot be overstated. This
guy is seriously old school, crazy hardcore stuff... Quoting from ‘The
Usual Suspects’: Kottak’s the kind of drummer that’ll “beat the crap out
of you, f**k your father in the shower and then have a snack…” No shit.
#3
– The legacy. From the first to the last song, the whole gig is a trip
down memory lane. We’re simply not talking of music, here, it’s more
than that. It’s testament; it’s legacy. Most of us grew up listening to
these guys. Either at the shopping center, on an elevator, on the radio,
at a high school party, here and there and everywhere. Their career
spans over four decades, guys, this is no meager feat. Always putting
out successful releases (some more than others, of course, but still
nothing that would cause offense. Other than the already mentioned
dreaded “Moment of Glory”… Geez… Why the f**k did I bring that up
again?…), always adding more golden moments to an already golden story,
turning story into History.
The gig revisits most of their iconic
moments, from the headbang-ish memories of “Big City Nights”, “Rock You
Like a Hurricane” and “The Zoo” to the softer side of the band in the
unforgettable “Holiday”, the prophetic “Wind of Change” and the
legendary “Still Loving You”, probably still holding some kind of
uncharted record for most babies conceived while listening to its chorus. All in
all, the music was familiar, what we were expecting and love. In that
respect alone, the delivery was flawless.
#4
– Ballad power. Sure, ballads are overrated. More than that: ballads
are old news. No one gives a f**k if Bryan Adams and Lionel Ritchie got
together and reissued old Valentine’s Day favorites in some crappy
release titled “The Chronicles of Robin of Locksley in da Hood”, with
well-known hits such as “Everything I Do, I’m Easy”, “Three Times a Lady
69” and the award-winning “Do I Have to Say the Words, Say You, Say
Me”.
No
wonder, then, that it’s been over twenty years since Scorpions put out
their best, most famous and well remembered ballads. You name it: “Still
Loving You”, “Always Somewhere”, “Send me an Angel”, “Born to Touch
Your Feelings” and, my personal favorite, “When the Smoke is Going
Down”.
So it was with a big sense of surprise that I came across their
newest take on prom-night slow dance material, “The Best is Yet to
Come”. This is, simply put, the revamped Scorpions’ DNA for the 21st
Century. Yes, it’s as cliché-ridden as any other 80’s/early 90’s ballad
you might have heard and it reeks of corny mood (“pop-corny”, dare I
say?) and cheesy chord progressions. Yes, sometimes it seems these guys
are completely out of phase with the times. Yes, it probably wouldn’t
feature in the music library sent as part of NASA’s last unmanned probe
for deep space exploration, nor would it be voted UNESCO’s protected
cultural heritage. But let’s face it: lots of bands, both higher and
lower than Scorpions in the A-list of luminaries and hall of famers,
would love to have written something like this, especially after some
forty-odd active years.
#5
– My dad. Yeah, I know, random shit. But not really. I went to this gig
with two of my closest friends and my dad, and just having him there
was amazing by itself. Father-son relationships have been studied, well
documented and thought over, and the bottom line is: it’s not
necessarily easy. So just to be able to drag my dad out of the house,
have him by my side, listening to all these songs he showed me when I
was a kid, songs that remained not only a very present part of my
growing up but also stark reminders of some of the best times I spent
with him, was really something. I mean, the man even danced a bit, sang a
bit, went crazy for a while (the “hurricane song”, as he calls it, was
indeed designed to rock the f**k out of your brains) and all in all had a
really good time. Isn’t that what music, in general, and rock and roll,
in particular, is all about?
So,
recap: swearing, people, legacy, ballads and my dad. Hmmm… Hardly a
recipe for success of any kind… And yet perfectly aligned with
everything that happened tonight.
As
the lights go out, what lingers on, what you bring home with you is
that after so many years, these guys still know how to do what they do,
and they do it better than anyone: good old senseless, no holds barred
rock music.
Finally, a farewell note.
Yes, they’re retiring next year. Scorpions, as a band, will be over.
But in music, just like as everything else in life, the show must go on.
And
thanks to the Laws of Thermodynamics, we know for sure that as long as
the music remains faithful, as long as we dive head on into the melody
of things and pour every ounce of energy we have onto the soundtrack of
our lives, the best is indeed yet to come.
Why? Because the smoke ain’t ever coming down, baby.
